Crow's Nest

Our dedicated lookout has reported some rather peculiar sight'ns from his lofty perch. Between his frequent “strategic rest periods” an' tea breaks, he’s sworn on his mother’s favorite teacup that he’s witnessed th' most extraordinary maritime phenomena ever documented.

Last week alone, he submitted a detailed report claim'n t' have spotted a mermaid rid'n a seahorse while solv'n a Rubik’s cube, an' a group o' dolphins wear'n top hats perform'n synchronized swimm'n routines t' classical music.

Recent not'ble sight'ns include:

• A giant squid play'n chess wit' a whale shark
• Fly'n fish practic'n fer their pilot’s license
• A pirate ghost ship sell'n timeshares t' pass'n vessels
• Penguins on vacat'n rid'n jet skis
• A row'n boeat crewed entirely by sing'n sea cucumbers

The Helm

Our state-of-the-art navigat'n system relies heavily on th' ancient art o' read'n cloud shapes an' follow'n particularly motivated seagulls. Th' ship’s wheel, a magnificent piece o' mahogany that squeaks exactly like a dolphin’s laugh, be primarily used as an excellent coat hanger dur'n peaceful voyages.

Th' real steer'n happens through our patented “Serendipitous Navigat'n System™” – we simply convince th' ocean currents they’re flow'n 'n th' wrong direct'n through sophisticated reverse psychology. Our success rate o' reach'n intended destinat'ns be a proud 12%, though we’ve discovered fourteen previously unknown islands an' one mysterious float'n coffee shop 'n th' process.