The Helm

Our state-of-the-art navigat'n system relies heavily on th' ancient art o' read'n cloud shapes an' follow'n particularly motivated seagulls. Th' ship’s wheel, a magnificent piece o' mahogany that squeaks exactly like a dolphin’s laugh, be primarily used as an excellent coat hanger dur'n peaceful voyages.

Th' real steer'n happens through our patented “Serendipitous Navigat'n System™” – we simply convince th' ocean currents they’re flow'n 'n th' wrong direct'n through sophisticated reverse psychology. Our success rate o' reach'n intended destinat'ns be a proud 12%, though we’ve discovered fourteen previously unknown islands an' one mysterious float'n coffee shop 'n th' process.