Crow's Nest

Our dedicated lookout has reported some rather peculiar sightings from his lofty perch. Between his frequent “strategic rest periods” and tea breaks, he’s sworn on his mother’s favorite teacup that he’s witnessed the most extraordinary maritime phenomena ever documented.

Last week alone, he submitted a detailed report claiming to have spotted a mermaid riding a seahorse while solving a Rubik’s cube, and a group of dolphins wearing top hats performing synchronized swimming routines to classical music.

Recent notable sightings include:

• A giant squid playing chess with a whale shark
• Flying fish practicing for their pilot’s license
• A pirate ghost ship selling timeshares to passing vessels
• Penguins on vacation riding jet skis
• A rowing boeat crewed entirely by singing sea cucumbers